26 August, 2010

Jessica Mess-ica

When you hear the name Jessica Simpson...what do you think about? Chicken of the Sea? Mom Jeans? That Monique gown she wore to her wedding to Nick Lachey? Whatever words you associate with her, I bet non of them are "classic" or "simple"....or let's be honest "a size 2".

But that is exactly what the cover of this month's Lucky Magazine wants you to think. Jessica not only looks totally uncomfortable (um her hair doesn't even look good), but she has been photoshopped down to a sample size. Sample size, she is not. She is a curvy girl, and always has been. And her hands in her pockets? To me, that screams "where in the hell are my leopard printed belts and my 9" high heels"? And to make matters worse, the pic on the inside shows her wearing a skinny belt...on the same photoshopped waist! What is wrong with Lucky? I LOVE the mag I really do, but seriously are we supposed to believe this is real?
Now let's take a stroll through Jessica's past, or as I like to refer to as "pretty girl, bad choices":

Does anyone else remember that "Dessert" line...where your lotions tasted sort of like sugar? Seriously, that is just nasty.

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